Ski fashion trends come and go, and some don’t leave fast enough. So I have put together a list of some of the worst trends in skiing fashion that I can remember.
Full disclosure, I was born in the late 80’s so most fashion faux pas that happened before that time aren’t going to be on here. But feel free to add them below in the comments section.
1. Tall Tees
Let’s start with possibly the worst and most obvious. Tall tees are dumb. Tall tees have always been dumb. It looks like you’re trying to wear a dress under your jacket (or hoodie for those too cool to BE FREAKING WARM). And honestly, if that’s your thing, I have a lot prettier options than a jersey knit cotton option. Try something floral.
2. Zip off arm jackets
Now I’m not sure how big of a trend this was, but I definitely remember it happening. Jackets being offered with the option to zip off the arms and TADA! Magically the worst looking vest ever. Who thought this was a good idea? I don’t get vests in general, what is it winter on your torso and summer on your arms? Just let a jacket be a damn jacket.
3. Wearing sports jerseys
We’ve all seen this kid. In fact, I still see this kid from time to time. He is wearing some sort of sports jersey, typically the vest kind (see above) over a hoodie or even a jacket. WHY? You need to wear a sports jersey to participate in other sports? That’s too many sports!
4. Goggles over baseball hats
This “trend” was pretty brief, but it is burned into my memory like walking in on your parents at the wrong time. Heck, I remember my brother sporting it (if you’re reading this Brad, just know that I’m disappointed in you). It looked like the epitome of frat guy skiing, it served no purpose, your ears would freeze, and you just looked like a doofus.
5. Moon boots
Alright, now we’re getting fashion-y, if you can call moon boots fashion. They look like, well, boots you would wear on the moon. But why would want to look like you’re traversing the moon? It’s not like we wear giant globes over our heads as a fashion statement. And double points for the all fur ones. I wonder if you have to take those ones for walks, and feed them, and take them outside…
6. Fanny packs
These monstrosities plagued even the regular fashion world for most of the 90’s. Everyone had one, even I rocked one when I was a kid. But in terms of function, a fanny pack carried nothing more than what you could fit in your pockets anyways. And who thought it was a good idea to make a bulky storage item fit around your waist so EVERYONE looked like they had a pooch or beer belly?
7. Long jester like hats
Again, I will fully admit to owning one of these. But I can’t say I ever understood them. Were they super long so you could fit a ponytail in them? Or store extra socks? Or were they just added fabric that could get caught on the chairlift at any time stepping up the danger level of skiing? Either way, the guy who invented these deserves to have everyone on public transportation with him play music without headphones on.
I’m not sure whether I can really call this a trend or not, because I’m not convinced it was ever cool. Feel free to argue with me on that though. However, this one is the worst. I know you’re legs are freezing. I also probably know how many days you’ve skied in the entirety of your life. Please stop. There are things call snow pants. They are literally pants for the snow.
9. Fake beard neck gaiters
These are fairly new, but I’m sure most of you have seen at least one or two. I know beards are hip right now, but good grief, fakes ones too? You don’t see girls wearing wigs to protect their heads from the cold. I’ve got an idea, if you want a beard to keep your face warm, GROW ONE. Can’t grow one? I’m sorry for your loss, but getting a fake one won’t give you any cool points. Try developing your personality more.
10. And Shaun White’s all leather outfit
Remember this? It was at the 2013 X games, and Shaun White showed up wearing a studded leather get up that even Kim Kardashian would disapprove of. It made life as a skier/snowboarder not worth living. Think I’m overreacting? WHO CARES, IT WAS A SKIN TIGHT ALL LEATHER OUTFIT. I AM NOT THE PROBLEM HERE.
You may notice that onsies or one piece ski suits are missing from this list. That is on purpose because onsies RULE. I still rock one. Deal with it.